Divorce can be a difficult thing to go through for both people involved. What can make things even worse is having to go through a long, hostile fight in court over who gets what out of the things and money that were amassed during the marriage. The thing is that it doesn't have to be that way. A lot of couples are finding ways to avoid the court battle and still get the things they want. Here are three tips for creating a divorce settlement outside the courtroom.
1. Hire a mediator.
Hiring a mediator to help you create a divorce settlement outside the courtroom is one of the best things you can do. Unlike your attorneys, the mediator is a non-biased third party who doesn't benefit from helping just one of you get everything you want. Instead, they are there to help both of you find the best compromise so no one walks away with everything or nothing at all.
Another good thing about going through mediation for your divorce settlement is that you don't have to rely on a judge to give you everything or take it all away. You and your ex, along with the mediator, come up with your settlement yourselves. That way, you each have more control over what stays with you and what goes. In a divorce court hearing, it is the judge who decides -- not you.
2. Leave your emotions out of it.
Going through a divorce can hurt -- especially if you feel you were wronged by your ex during your marriage. As tempting as it can be to channel your hurt emotions into hostility towards your ex, you will never come up with a divorce agreement outside the courtroom if you do.
Instead, you will have an argument session at the mediator's office, which you will be paying for. Then, you will likely end up having to go through court anyway, since no good compromises on the divorce settlement will likely occur while you are feeling emotional and hostile towards your ex. So, you will likely end up paying even more to get your divorce settlement if you allow your emotions to accompany you into mediation.
3. Go to mediation alone or with your attorney.
Another thing that can cause problems at mediation is if you bring someone other than your attorney with you. Your family and close friends may provide great emotional support while you are going through your divorce, but they will be of no benefit at your meeting with the mediator.
Instead, they will likely cause more problems for you because of their own feelings towards your ex. It is best to just go alone so you can get through the process as quickly as possible. If you really feel that you need someone there with you, then take your attorney. Of course, you will have to pay them for that time, but they can provide great support for you without having any feelings of hostility towards your ex get in the way.
By following these tips, you will likely find that you can create an amicable divorce settlement in much less time, and for far less money, than you would inside the courtroom.
For more information and advice, talk with professional divorce attorneys, such as those at Larson, Latham, Huettl Attorneys.